In the Catholic world, we have special days called “feast days” where we celebrate the lives of the saints. This week, we celebrated the feast day of Saint Joseph, who also happens to be my marriage role model.
Here’s some important things to know about Saint Joseph:
- Christians recognize him as Jesus’ earthly father (because Jesus’ “real” father is God the Father).
- We don’t know much about Saint Joseph because he’s only mentioned in The Bible a few times.
- When Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant, he had planned to quietly divorce her because it couldn’t possibly be his child since they had no relations after the wedding. But when God revealed that she was carrying His son, Joseph remained by her side.
- He was extremely obedient to God and sacrificed everything to protect his family.
I always admired Saint Joseph, but he didn’t become a favorite until my wedding day.
The morning of my wedding, I was looking for a quiet place to pray and write my future bride a letter. In the church we were married in, the walls are lined with mini chapels that contain different pieces of art such as paintings, statues, etc.
For some reason, as I walked around the perimeter of the church, every mini chapel was taken.
With only a few minutes before I had to line up, I started to get a little frustrated. I finally went to the opposite side of the church, turned a corner and finally found an empty mini chapel — with a statue of Saint Joseph.
I immediately broke down in tears.
It was at that moment that I understood the gravity of the decision that I was about to make. It was as if Saint Joseph was telling me that being a husband is going to involve great sacrifice, but will also bring me great joy.
I had the most surreal experience in that chapel that day. As I prayed and wrote, it was as if I was engulfed in a deep silence which calmed my nerves and brought me immense peace.
My whole outlook on my role as a husband changed in that moment.
I realized that it was no longer going to be about me, but about my role as leader and guardian of my family.
I look to Saint Joseph as the ultimate example of what it means to be a man and here’s why.
He didn’t make excuses.
His life could have been so much easier if he had just divorced Mary and lived the rest of his life without the burden of fatherhood (let alone being the earthly father of God). But instead, he responded to the call and didn’t make excuses. I’m sure there were times he didn’t know what he was doing, but he pressed on.
God told him to stay with Mary, so he stayed with Mary.
God told him to leave their home, so they left their home.
So when you find yourself making excuses, just think about Saint Joseph and what he had to do to protect the savior of the world.
He’s an amazing listener.
God spoke to him several times and directed him at pivotal moments in time. When he found out that Mary was carrying the Son of God, he protected her. When he had a dream that he was to move his family to avoid the murder of Jesus, he moved.
In order to be an amazing listener, you need a quiet mind.
It involves being humble enough to admit that you’re figuring out life as you go. Joseph was a great listener because he was open to receiving.
I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a terrible listener (just ask my wife). But it is those moments of interior silence and humility where we can receive at our best.
He knew he couldn’t do it alone.
Saint Joseph didn’t rely on his own understanding of the world. He wasn’t some wise older man with a lot of life experience. He was a young man who simply said yes.
Only humble men can admit when they need help, and Saint Joseph needed a lot of help.
This is something I still have to learn. I have trouble admitting I need help because of my fear of looking weak.
But what I fail to realize often is that we learn what we’re made of when we’re weak. We can either choose to persevere and find ways to succeed, or we submit to our weakness and accept our fate.
If Saint Joseph knew he couldn’t do it alone, I know I can’t do it alone.
—
So who is your role model?
If you’re thinking of a celebrity, I encourage you to read up on the saints. They were real people who led extraordinary lives and can be true examples for us all.