A goodbye can take form as a simple hug and a “see you later” from a friend, a farewell to a family member who is moving away, or a kiss given to a loved one who is about to pass away.
A goodbye can cause pain and it can cause joy — or both at the same time.
A goodbye can take many forms, be given in different ways, and imply different meanings; but a goodbye is always followed by grace.
When my grandpa passed away, our goodbyes were given in pain because we shared the burden of a final farewell to this man that we all loved so much.
But despite our pain, the grace that followed led us to peace.
Grace can take on many meanings, but it is essentially unearned and unmerited divine assistance given to us for our own good.
What’s beautiful about the grace that accompanies a goodbye is that it acts as a lifeline that we didn’t know that we needed.
In the case of my grandpa, following his passing, we all exchanged stories about him that we never knew. This helped us all remember the joy that he brought to our lives, the impact that he made to those around him, and the legacy he left behind.
My grandpa was extremely patient in that he always responded to my grandma’s requests demands with love and gentleness.
One of my favorite stories is that my grandpa used to golf regularly on Saturdays, which was also cleaning day. My grandma used to give my grandpa a hard time for it since he would often get back after all of the cleaning had already been done. He would always make up for it by finishing up the rest later in the day, always with no complaints.
So after a trip to the doctor in which they explained that his higher than normal blood pressure was being caused by stress in the home (aka grandma), they insisted that my grandma let him play golf as a stress reliever. You can imagine how ecstatic he was to have the support of his doctor (and how maddening it was to my grandma because she was always used to getting her way).
The exchange of these stories about my grandpa only brought our family closer together and filled us with joy and peace in the midst of our great loss.
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The reason we loathe goodbyes is that we fear loss. And in that fear, we also face uncertainty of the future.
Grace is the medium by which we journey through loss and into the future knowing that everything will fall into place. Only then will we realize that our goodbye meant hello to something greater.